Some days, parenting is hard.

My children are beautiful.  I fully admit to being extremely biased in my opinion.  I think they are amazing and they fill my heart with love every day.  I am constantly in awe of what they know and how they learn and what they can do.  They have shown kindness and tenderness in unexpected times and sometimes a maturity beyond their years.

However, other times, they act exactly as you would expect small children to act.  When they are tired, when they are hungry, or just because, they can make poor choices.  They are kids and it's my job to teach them compassion and self control and hopefully, to make good choices.

Yesterday, there was a situation that I'm still upset about.  I find when I have these strong emotions, it usually takes about 3 days for me to get over it.  I know I will get over it, but my emotions must run their course...

Wyatt and I had a full day out yesterday.  It was a wonderful day that involved a lot of time outside and some swimming and playing on the playground.  He and I left the house with the girls in the morning and we didn't return home until the girls did in the afternoon.  For a little guy, that's a long day.

Every evening (or most evenings) I take the children downstairs to the common area in our condo.  They have made great friends with the other children here and they love to play with them.  Wyatt really wanted to bring down his tug of war rope, and I let him.  In my head, I thought, Oh, this could go badly.  But, I also think that I don't let Wyatt be a boy often enough.  I find the way girls play to be less stressful to me, and so I shy away from the more physical games the boys play.  I let him bring the rope downstairs.

Not surprisingly, the boys found it to be great fun.  They played nicely with it for a little while.  I watched from a little bit away, and thought they were fairly evenly matched.  Things got a little out of hand...  One boy was taking the rope and running away with it.  Wyatt got stressed.  I don't know exactly what happened next, but I saw Wyatt hitting one of the boys.  sigh. 

I got up and went over.  Wyatt is standing on his own in tears.  I took the rope and called Wyatt over.  Hitting is an automatic time out.  He accepts this.  He sits down.  He asks for some water, that's okay with me.  I'm getting the water and the mom of the boy that Wyatt hit came over with her son.

Her son has a scratch on his face.  She looks at me and says quite angrily, your son did this.  I feel terrible.  I think all moms feel terrible when their children make bad choices.  I think, it's important for Wyatt to see this and to know that he caused this boy pain.  Wyatt is at my side by this point and I pick him up and say to him, Wyatt you scratched his face.  He is crying because you hurt him.  Do you see his tears?  You are not allowed to hurt somebody else.  You are not allowed to scratch.

Wyatt looks at the boy and sees his tears and he says "I'm sorry!".  Then the mother says to Wyatt in a voice that is so full of anger and venom that it would make an adult uncomfortable, "SORRY IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!  YOU'RE NOT SORRY YOU LITTLE BRAT!"  Whoa, my mom instinct took over and I turned Wyatt away from her and shouted back...  "Stop! You may not yell at my son.  You speak to me!  He is 3 years old.  You speak to me.  I am responsible, I will discipline him."  She looked at me and yelled, "WELL THEN DO IT!".  Then she walked away.

ugh.  I was totally rattled. 

Look, I can totally understand being angry that your child was hurt by another child.  I completely agree that scratching is never allowed.  I also know that Wyatt, although he was tired and making bad choices, did not scratch her son unprovoked.  It takes two.   

I am not a mom who spanks her children.  I am not a mom that is going to yell at them.  I think the only way to teach them to be loving and compassionate is to show them love and compassion.  Wyatt lost some of his privileges and he had to go to bed early because of his bad choices.  Did she expect that I would hit or yell at him in front of her to make her feel good?  Who parents like that?  You have to parent for the long haul.  Hitting or yelling at your children in public (or in private) so that another adult feels satisfied will only lead to disaster as the children get older.  

I wish more parents understood that we need to band together and support one another.  All children make bad choices sometimes.  All children go through a hitting phase.  I am not proud of him for it.  I'm actually feeling quite challenged by it at the moment.  Wyatt is my only son.  The girls went through the hitting phase at two (as did Wyatt), but then they learned or out grew it and it was over (mostly).  It seems to have re-surged with Wyatt.  I don't know if it's hormonal or what, but it seems to be more difficult for him to control.  I'm reading books, I'm trying new discipline strategies.  I'm really sorry that another child is suffering from Wyatt's learning curve.  Please understand, Wyatt too has been on the receiving end.    

I think it's fair to say that 3 year-old children have poor impulse control.  I'm working with him on it and he is getting better, but some of it we have to wait out.  I'm really sorry that my son hurt another child.  However, it is not okay for another adult to raise their voice to my child.  I am not going to keep my children locked up inside away from other children because they haven't mastered self control or discipline.  They have to interact with others in order to learn it.

This other mother was so busy being angry at my son, that she never hugged her son and tended to his wound.  She was pushing him towards the water and roughly splashing water on his face.  The scratch looked like it hurt, but nothing that wouldn't heal.  I think a hug would have gone a long way. 

I guess the lesson I have learned from this event is that I will stand up for my children.  I hate confrontation.  I was rattled and upset for the rest of the evening, I was restless all night and I couldn't sleep.  But, in the moment, when it counted, Wyatt had a mom who was there to protect him.  Wyatt learned that I will love and accept him no matter what and I will stand up for him.  I will try to find a good lesson to learn in every situation. 

Eco Farm Tour!

Yesterday, we took a day trip into Malaysia to visit an Eco-Farm.  It is the UK Farm situated in Johor, Malaysia. 

I bought a groupon tour back in January that included the farm tour.  It sounded good and was a good price, so we gave it a try.  I have to say the farm was something special and worth visiting, but I don't think I'll be buying a groupon tour into Malaysia again.  We traveled with my friend and her 2 daughters. 

We met our tour bus at the Ang Mo Kio MRT Taxi stand at 7 am.  We were a few minutes late, and our 12 seater bus was oversold.  We had 13 passengers.  We managed OK, Wyatt either sat on Scott's lap or he sat in the very back row (4 seats across) with the (4) girls.  By the way, no seat belts at all on the bus.

We headed into Malaysia.  When you take a tour bus over the border, you have to deboard and go through customs and immigration on foot.  It wasn't too busy and the kids did really well, but definitely not a highlight.

Once through, we stopped at a chocolate shop.  It was advertised as a chocolate factory, but I'd say a chocolate store.  They did have a picture of a chocolate pod and then examples of the different stages of processing.  Then, back on the bus and another stop for breakfast.  Then bus again for about an hour drive to the farm.

We really liked the farm.  It's mostly a goat farm, but there are also organic fruits and vegetables, mushrooms, ostrich, and herbs.

We enjoyed the beautiful views.  Sometimes, staying in Singapore, the city can get to me.  I need to get out into nature.  This was a great place to go to really feel a connection with nature. 

 We fed the goats some hay.

 This baby goat is only 7 days old.  All the kids got to hold him.  Poor thing!  He was SOOO soft! 

 Wyatt LOVED feeding the goats.  He was laughing to himself the whole time.  Occasionally, a little hop out of giddiness.  Too cute!

 We got to see the goats make a mad dash to the milk. 

 Next we went to the herb sanctuary.  We walked under a passion fruit vines.  I got this picture standing underneath and looking up.  I think passion flowers are so beautiful!

 On to the ostrich!  We were so surprised at how aggressively the ostrich would take the leaves from our hands.  They were so strong! 

 On the farm, there is a little village constructed to show how the indigenous people of Malaysia once lived.  It is called the Jakun Villiage.  This boy and his family are hired by the farm to live there and give demonstrations to tourists.  He used his blow dart gun to pop a balloon that was high up in the tree.  He also showed us how they would trap animals using a bamboo cage.  In the demonstration, Wyatt got to be the bait animal (he pretended to be a bunny) and he waited in the cage.  Then Lily was the tiger and she walked into the cage and the door came down.  Fun!

 These homes were hand built on the farm property to show the style of homes that the Jakun people live in.  Our guide told us they are about 80% wind and water proof.  Not what we are used to.

Next, we saw a goat herding demonstration and then we got to feed the goats milk from a bottle!  The kids especially loved this!! (I mean both my kids and the goats!)

Our next stop was a mushroom growing house and the organic vegetable garden.  The kids were thrilled to find a few different tree houses here.  This tree house is in a wishing tree.

The mushrooms were grown in plastic bottles housed in a dark shed.  It was really interesting to see.

It was a full day!  After all of this, we were very hot and tired and ready to head home.  However, our next stop in the tour was at a new outlet mall center in Johor Bahru.  sigh.  We weren't really interested, but it didn't seem that we could not go.  It was interesting to see because it looked exactly like an outlet center you would find in the US, complete with a large parking lot, which I haven't seen since we arrived.

After the outlet mall, we had dinner.  We were taken to a strip mall that had a room filled with tables.  I think everybody there was on the tour and were there to have our included dinner.  It was Chinese food.  The kids didn't really eat and they were extra tired and ready to go home.  They did really well, but it all started to break down at the end.  I ended up going to the bus early with them and putting on a movie on the ipad.  Once we were on our way, we had to stop at the boarder again and then it was another 20 minutes or so to the MRT station.  THEN... Finally, a taxi home.  What a day!

Arise, then, women of this day!

Arise, then, women of this day!

Arise, all women who have hearts, Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!

Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.  Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.  We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of the devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own.  It says: "Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."  Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession.  As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war, Let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel.

Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.  Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means Whereby the great human family can live in peace, Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask That a general congress of women without limit of nationality May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient And at the earliest period consistent with its objects, To promote the alliance of the different nationalities, The amicable settlement of international questions,

The great and general interests of peace.

- Julia Ward Howe 1870

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers around the world.  Peace and love to you and to your families. 

Last year, I learned that the earliest beginnings of Mother's Day was from Julia Ward Howe in 1870 when she wrote this Mother's Day Proclamation.  Julia's vision speaks to me.  There are mothers in every country, of every religion and every station on this earth.  It is something that we have in common.  Can't we build peace from here?  Can't we see our enemies as the children of their mothers?  Can we as women and mothers find a sisterhood with all mothers?

When I am out and about in Singapore or any of the countries that I've had the privilege to visit this year, I see mothers there.  I see them with their children.  I see the same expressions on their face that I have on mine.  Love, amusement, frustration, patience.  We are not so different.  I feel the bond of common purpose with these women.  I can understand that they will do what they must for their children, as I will do what I must.

... 

My Mother's Day was beautiful.  My sweet children woke me up (extra early!!).  They were so very excited about the gifts that they bought for me at school.  A wonderful charity shop was open all week at school so that the children could have a chance to buy a lovely gift for mom.  Scott helped the kids make a menu for me.  I was able to choose what I wanted for breakfast (in bed).  While Lily and Scott made breakfast, Madeline gave me a foot rub and Wyatt gave me hugs.  I felt very loved.  When breakfast arrived, the kids and Scott took turns talking about what they love and appreciate most about me.  I am so spoiled!

 



When Lily was born, Scott started a tradition for us.  He found this large table cloth and together we painted Happy Mother's Day on it in fabric paint.  Every year, we've put the kids hand prints on it (foot prints for babies).  We brought it with us to Singapore so we could keep our tradition.

Siem Reap, Cambodia

Well, we've just returned from our latest Caudle adventure in Southeast Asia, and I have to say... Wow.  I am still trying to absorb and process all of the amazing sites and rich culture we have just all experienced.  When I unloaded my pictures, I found that we had collectively taken about 900 pictures!!  I narrowed them down to the best 150 or so and those I will post in a Facebook album.  Here, I have shared what I consider to be the best 36 pictures.  It was very hard to choose.

We left Singapore on Monday, 30th of April.  The kids had Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off from school and Scott took the week off from work (the kids missed Thursday and Friday).  We planned 4 nights in Siem Reap, Cambodia.  I found a hotel from Trip Adviser called Siddharta.  It was awesome.  It was very clean and comfortable.  They were flexible with us.  When I first called, I asked to book the family room, but it was already booked for the dates that I wanted.  So, they offered to put an extra bed in a room for us which gave us a room with a King and two twins.  Perfect.  The hotel was situated about 6 km from the ruins of Angkor Wat and about 6 km from Pub Street (downtown).  

We were able to book a direct flight on Silk Airlines (the regional airline for Singapore Air).  It was about a 2 hour flight.  Our arrival into Siem Reap was a little too exciting for my taste...  A storm was blowing in.  The winds were kicking up.  We started to make our landing...  the landing gear was out but just before I expected to touch down, the plane lurched and we pulled up back up to 4000 feet.  Our pilot announced that the winds were too strong to land.  We would have to circle up in the clouds until the wind passed.  It was only about 20 minutes or so, but it made me pretty anxious.  When we finally did land, all the passengers cheered.   The Siem Reap airport is very nice and efficient.  We were able to get visas on arrival, without incident.

Along with our room, the hotel assigned to us a Tuk-Tuk driver for the week.  The Tuk-Tuk was our transportation all week.  Our driver was named Mr. T and he was very kind.

Our Tuk-Tuk was big enough for all 5 of us.  Scott and I took turns sitting on the blue seat with 2 kids.  The other one sat on the black bench with the 3rd child (they took turns too).  Mr. T always had cold water bottles for us (you can't drink the tap water in Cambodia).  We found the Tuk-Tuk to be a very relaxing way to travel.  None of the cars on the road went very fast.  The wind was a nice way to cool off in the heat.  

We arrived in late afternoon.  After we got settled into our room, we were pretty hungry.  We headed off to the down town area in out Tuk-Tuk.  We found a good restaurant on Pub Street called The Red Piano.  They had a good mix of food.  The kids could have pizza, french fries and other not so healthy food that the kids love to eat when we are on holiday.  The beer was 50 cents!  Cocktails were $1 or $1.50.  All the prices are in USD and they prefer payment in USD as well.  It was kinda funny for us to be carrying around USD after all these months (it's been 9 months now).  We couldn't believe the prices.

After dinner, we wandered around the streets a little to check out the area.  Lots and lots of souvenir shops and massage parlors.  Lots of restaurants and bars.  Then it was time to head back to our hotel and get to bed.  

It's pretty hot in Cambodia this time of year.  We were advised to get to the temples early, because the sun is hot and it can be crowded.  We arranged for our Tuk-Tuk to pick us up at 7:30 am.  It worked out great.  We had a nice breakfast at our hotel and we were ready to go see something cool!  We were not disappointed.

Our first stop, Angkor Wat.  The grandest of all the Khmer temples.  Angkor Wat was a city and the State Temple built by King Suryavarman II in the first half of the 12th century.  I could write pages on the history and significance of Angkor Wat.  If you are interested, there is a great video on You Tube that we watched before our trip.  Or check out the Wikipedia page.

Scott and I both visited to top part of the temple.  Children were not allowed.  Scott is about half way up the steps to the top in this picture (brown shirt, hard to see!).

In the bottom right of this picture, you can see some monks in their orange robes.  We saw monks all over the place in Cambodia.  About 95% of the people in Cambodia are Buddhists.

Some of the dancers from one of the evening shows were at the temple to pose for pictures.  The girls were very happy to take a picture, but Wyatt wanted no part of it.

After visiting Angkor Wat, we were very hot and tired, so we headed back to our hotel for a mid-day break.  We ate lunch and had a long swim in the pool.  Then we snuggled into our beds and turned the AirCon on very cold and rested.  Our Tuk-Tuk picked us up about 3:00 and we headed out to the next temple.

This is the bridge at South Gate of Angkor Thom.

Bayon Temple in Angkor Thom.  This one is famous for all the faces carved into the stone.

The kids loved climbing all over the stones.  This was their playground for the afternoon.

Most of the stones have a few holes in them that you can see.  In the YouTube video, it explains that they think those holes were used to transport the stones.  They are just the right size to fit a stick of bamboo.

Inside Bayon Temple.

After we left Bayon, there was a a small temple with these women praying.  They called the children over and gave them each a red bracelet and said a prayer.

From Bayon, we walked over to Bapuon, but we couldn't go in.  It is only for ages 12 and up (steep steps and still used for prayer, so quiet voices).  Then we walked along the Elephant Terrace (pictured above).  From there, we saw the Leper King Terrace (pictured below).

We then stopped and had some coconut water (very good for hydration) and headed into town to find dinner.  We were VERY tired.  

On Wednesday morning, we went to Artisans d'Angkor silk farm and workshop.  We got to see how silk is harvested from the silk worms and how it is spun into thread and then weaved into fabric.  It was really amazing!  After the silk farm, we went to the hand craft workshop.

Once the worms are ready to make a cocoon, they are placed into a basket like this, so that it is easier to harvest them.  Silk is made from the cocoon.

Lily and Madeline are holding silk worms.

The cocoons are soaked and then unravelled.  Each cocoon makes approximately 40m of fine thread.  Raw silk is made from the exterior part of the cocoon (thicker thread), fine silk is made from the interior of the cocoon (fine thread).

At the handicraft workshop, we saw painters painting on the silk made from the farm.

Beautiful hand carved wood.  We really enjoyed seeing all of the crafts. 

After lunch, a swim and a rest, we headed over to Ta Prohm.  Ta Prohm is unique because of all the trees that have grown in the temple complex.  It's not as high as the other two we had visited but it is sprawling.  It is also famous because it is the temple where the movie Tomb Raider was filmed.  Ta Prohm is partly collapsed which makes it a little more difficult to navigate but it also gives it a very interesting atmosphere.

We were hot and tired and hungry after exploring Ta Phrohm.  We headed into town and decided to check out the Mexican restaurant.  Really, how good could the Mexican food be in Cambodia?!  I was skeptical.  We've been on a mission these last few months to try out all of the Mexican food in Singapore to find the best.  We've been mostly disappointed.  The flavor just hasn't been right.  Well...  It turns out that Siem Reap has the best Mexican food in Southeast Asia.  Their sign said so, and it was absolutely true.  We gorged ourselves.  It was fabulous!

  Thursday morning started with a Hot Air Balloon ride!

It's a very large balloon that can hold up to 30 people.  We were fortunate because besides us, there were only 2 other tourists there.  We went up about 200m, but maintained a tether to the ground.  It was surprisingly windy up there and I felt pretty scared.  I sat down and let the others enjoy it. 

 We next headed over to the National Museum.  It's very well done.  Lots of exhibits that help to put into mind the timeline and significance of the temples of the Khmer civilization.  I think my favorite was the room of 1000 Buddhas.

We ate lunch out and then had a rest and swim back at the hotel.  For dinner, we went back to Viva Mexican.  We had to get some more!  We headed to bed early.  

We're now up to Friday and it's time to go home!  Our flight is at noon, but we wanted to catch the sunrise over Angkor Wat.  Our driver picked us up at 5:15 am and we made a mad dash to the temple grounds.  The roads were full of tourist headed to catch the sunrise.  We made it in time and we got loads of pictures of it.  Absolutely stunning!

Bye Cambodia!  We sure had a great time!